Random thoughts

AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO LOVE YOUR WORK?
A senior U.S. Marine Corps general who said it was "fun to shoot some people" should have chosen his words more carefully but will not be disciplined, military officials said on Thursday.

Lt. Gen. James Mattis, who led troops in Iraq and Afghanistan, made the comments at a conference Tuesday in San Diego. Mattis said: "Actually it's quite fun to fight 'em, you know. It's a hell of a hoot. It's fun to shoot some people. I'll be right up front with you, I like brawling," said Mattis. "You go into Afghanistan, you got guys who slap women around for five years because they didn't wear a veil," Mattis said during a panel discussion. "You know, guys like that ain't got no manhood left anyway. So it's a hell of a lot of fun to shoot them."

Have we become so politically correct that we send people to war, to kill people, but they must be ashamed of going to war to kill people? Isn't this the kind of guy you want fighting a war?

When your boss asks you how you like your job, you don't say "I hate [insert everyday job duty here]." Do what you love, and happiness will come. Though killing is a bit of a strange passion, Mattis seems to have found a place where he fits in quite well. Can't look down on him for that.

BE AFRAID IKEA, BE VERY AFRAID
Once every five years, IKEA has some tough competition. A Chinese man named Wu has patented his technique for growing his own wooden chairs. Wu moulds elm tree branches into shape while the tree is still growing.

Wu, who's in his 60s, says it takes him about five years to grow a tree chair, from saplings to the finished article. Mr Wu has one tree chair in his home, which he harvested last September, and six more growing in his field.

Wu hopes that one day people will be able to grow all of their furniture instead of having to buy it from a store. While we're dreaming, Mr. Wu, I hope that one day all women will throw themselves at my feet, so I won't have to approach them and create awkward social situations at bars.

CHRISTMAS GIFT FOR MY EVENTUAL WIFE
Finally, a woman can be controlled like digital cable. The orgasmatron, originally designed to aid back pain, has given sexual pleasure to 10 out of 11 women who have tried it. The device, implanted into the buttocks, is said to produce an orgasm at the push of a button.

The device consists of two implanted electrodes which are connected by wires to nerves in the spinal cord. With a remote-control they can send tiny pulses of electricity through their spinal nerves, which can lead to orgasm. If this thing has TiVo . . .