While I agree that dogfighting is disgusting, and that Vick is a piece of shit, I think Sen. Byrd's response is pretty hilarious:
Democratic Sen. Robert Byrd of West Virginia, who has addressed lawmakers often about his love for animals, shook with emotion during a forceful condemnation of dogfighting."Hundreds of thousands -- if not millions -- of dollars are often at stake in the breeding, the training and the selling of fighting dogs. How inhuman, how dastardly!" shouted the senator.
Senator Byrd then added that he was "going to dispatch the white night forthwith" to investigate the issue.
Sorry Senator, but it appears that the White knight is otherwise occupied [ed. note: creepy]NBA Is "Inhuman, Dastardly"
The FBI is investigating allegations that a veteran NBA referee bet on basketball games over the past two seasons, including ones in which he officiated. According to a law enforcement official, authorities are examining whether the referee made calls to affect the point spread in games on which he or associates had wagered.
Perhaps this explains my 17-bet losing streak in December-January . . . unlikely, however, given that my losses were all on football.
Personal foul, blocking, number 24. Shooter, I'm going to need you to miss two of two here.Jersey City, New Jersey Litterers Are Inhuman, Dastardly
A Jersey City woman made a shocking discovery on her lawn this morning when she noticed a military rocket launcher lying in the grass. Niranjana Besai was leaving her house, located at 88 Nelson Street, to go to work just after 8 this morning when she spotted the launcher on her front lawn. She immediately called police.
I don't understand why this is such a news story. I've gotten drunk and dropped all kinds of shit out of my pockets . . . keys, cell phone . . . oh, wait, it was a missile launcher . . . in the Newark flight path . . . hmm, definitely wasn't me.
Bob. . . where did you put the other launcher? Fuck, Bob, not again!
ESPN Copy Editors Are Inhuman, Dastardly Shitty, No-Talent Hacks
Here's a sampling of recent headlines thought up by the ESPN "Braintrust":
Dog-loving demonstrators urge NFL to 'sack' Vick
See, that's funny. . . "sack," get it . . . "sack!" It means fired, and it's a football term for tackling the quarterback behind the line of scrimmage. Get it? That's gold! [as editor throws own feces in excitement]
Cheery Garcia [referring to Sergio Garcia leading the Open]
Oh, that's hilarious. It's like "Jerry Garcia," or even funnier, the Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavor! Run with it!! [ed. note: "cheery" doesn't rhyme with "Cherry" or "Jerry"]
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