500 Miles: Deconstructed

I WOULD WALK 500 MILES
The Proclaimers

When I wake up, yeah I know Im gonna be,
I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you
(That's nice....)

When I go out yeah I know Im gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you
(Ok, kinda suffocating...)

And If I get drunk, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you
(So much for girls' night out....jeez, do you have friends?)

And if I haver whatever that means
I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you
(So basically you have to invent reasons to hang out together. Trust me, this girl needs space. It seems romantic, but she's just sick of you by now.)

But I would walk 500 miles
(Do you realize how far that is?)

And I would walk 500 more
(So you would walk a thousand miles.....why not just say that? And also, do you realize how far THAT is???)

To be the man who walked that thousand miles
To fall down at your door
(For a second, you had her. It seemed so sweet. But it's all about the recognition with you. "I'm not here to see you, I just want to be able to call myself the guy who walked hella far." By the way, of course you fell down, you were drunk and havering.)

When I'm working yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you
(Wait, you went to work? But you only go out when she goes out. Do you guys work together?)

And when the money, comes in for the work I do
I'll pass almost every penny on to you
(Except for the few pence I set aside for booze and havers.)

When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you
(She won't be there. Out with the girls finally!)

And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you
("If" you grow old? Um, i think the concept of time comes into play here. By the way, why do people always preface photos with, "this is from when I was younger." ALL photos are of you when you were younger.)

And I would walk 500 miles
(Yeah, you said that...)

And I would walk 500 more
(Right, thousand miles. Why are you dating a girl who lives 1000 miles away? )

To be the man who walked that thousand miles
To fall down at your door
(You sleep in the same bed, and come home to her after work. Why are you so far away? Buy a plane ticket for crying out loud.)

Surrender (We do.)
Surrender (Oh god do we ever....)

When I'm lonely yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man who's lonely without you
(You're 1000 miles away from your girl, of course you are lonely. And how could you POSSIBLY be lonely WITH her? You just aren't making sense at this point.)

When I'm dreaming yes I know I'm gonna dream
I gonna Dream about the time when I'm with you
(That's called a memory, not a dream. A dream would be imagining having a life.)

And if I get drunk, yeah I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man that gets drunk next to you
(Drunk again, huh? One of you has a drinking problem.)

And if I haver, whatever the heck that means
I'm gonna be the man who havers next you
(And addicted to havering. Where will it end?)

And I would walk 500 miles
(Good god, more long distance walking. What are you, Forrest Gump?).

And I would walk 500 more
(That's 1000 miles again. How far across is Scotland anyways? Can you even walk 1000 miles without passing her house three times?)

To be the man who walked that thousand miles
To fall down at your door
(Just thinking of walking 1000 miles makes me tired enough to fall down. And why fall down at the door? You made it all that way, and you can't wait to go 20 more feet to fall on the couch?)

Surrender
Surrender

When I'm lonely, yes I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the man whos lonely without you
I'm gonna be the man whos coming home
(We've covered all of this.)

cause I would walk 500 miles
And I would walk 500 more
To be the man who walked that thousand miles
(What job do you have that lets you go walking for 3 weeks? Are you a postman by any chance?)

To fall down at your door
Surrender
Surrender
Surrender.
(Done and........done.)