Eva, My Muse!!!

So I'm minding my own business checking my email. I log out of Hotmail, and read a fine story about Florida police Tasering a 6-year-old (ah, the world under the governance of men named Bush). Then, to my extreme chagrin, an unsolicited Revlon ad pops up in which a cellphone rings extremely loudly and Eva Mendes starts talking to me like I'm calling her. Needless to say, in my extremely hungover state (went winetasting yesterday -- 12 hours of champagne drinking not good the day after) I wasn't happy to be speaking to Eva. Since we live in an open, democratic society in which I am free to express my views, I went to the Revlon website to express my opionions in their comment section . . .

Email attempt one to Revlon--

I just received an online call while on MSN.com from Eva, who appears to be some sort of "advertisement." There are several problems with said advert. First, the ring was horrible -- if I set my cellphone to "hell", it wouldn't sound any worse. Second, Eva had that fake sweet voice a girl uses when you are buying her a drink at a bar -- condescending, but you could never call her on it. Third, you sent this ad to me unsolicited -- the FCC is cracking down on indecency, but this was a violation much more serious than Howard Stern saying vagina. If I ever see or hear "Eva" again, there will be hell to pay. Thank you.

When I tried to submit the above comment, I was told that there was a "255-character" comment limit. In 255 characters, you can say pretty much nothing. Undeterred, I decided to send my comments in a series of three parts. I sent part one, then attempted to send part two. Unfortunately, the website somehow remembers your computer and you can't send more than one comment!!!! What has the world become -- they can invade my life with their crap ad, but I can't tell them what I think about it?

Email attempt 10 to Revlon --
Seriously, fuck you guys.

Revlon must be held accountable. I implore all of this Blog's female and cross-dressing readers to bring a swift halt to their use of Revlon products (although, as an aside, I hope everyone who reads this blog at least uses beauty products on the level of MAC). This aggression will not stand!