Do they care?

It's the holiday season, and I will begin this post by wishing you all a Merry Christmas, or a Merry Jew Christmas...I mean, Chanukah, Happy Kwanzaa, and a delightful Festivus for the rest of us. In the yuletide spirit, I have chosen to breakdown what could be called the greatest holiday song of all time, "Do They Know Its Christmas?" from Band Aid in the mid 80's Band Aid of course being a collection of musicians who sang together to sell records that would help feed starving kids in Africa. Just We Are the World part II really. SMP swears its a tongue and cheek song, but I think it's meant to be dead serious. You be the judge:

It's Christmastime
There's no need to be afraid
Of course not, you rich pricks. You never have to be afraid ever. Its the rest of us who are going to get mugged for out cabbage patch dolls outside the Toys R Us. Who the hell is afraid in the back of a limo?

At Christmastime, we let in light and we banish shade
Who is we? Aren't the holidays like the number one most depressing time of year? Doesn't the suicide rate go up like 1000%? People hate Christmas. It is synonymous with lonliness and debt. That's as shady as it gets...

And in our world of plenty we can spread a smile of joy
Thanks. You have a world of plenty, and you're gonna give us a smile. That's mighty considerate of you, you drugged out has beens.

Throw your arms around the world at Christmastime
Physically impossible. Stupid poetic rhetoric. Besides, the rest of the world isn't very stoked about a big American hug. Throw your arms around the world, and watch it cringe like Paris Hilton at a soup kitchen.

But say a prayer
Pray for the other ones
There aren't any christians in Africa (just Mormon missionaries), so the last thing they want are our prayers. Send a loaf of bread, not some meaningless thought.

At Christmastime it's hard, but when you're having fun
Its hard all the time to think about other people, being the self-centered ego maniacs that we are. Especially hard when Im having fun! Nothing fun about praying for hungry people.

There's a world outside your window
Cause god knows you aren't going outside. I thought you said earlier there was no need to be afraid? So why am I locked up inside?

And it's a world of dread and fear
Damnit, now Im afraid! Make up your minds.

Where the only water flowing is the bitter sting of tears
There are no tears in Africa. Its too damn hot and there is no water, so everyone is dehydrated. Trying to be all sensitive, and you basically throw a big middle finger at them.

And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom
There are no christmas bells ringing in Africa, they dont know its christmas, remember? And the clanging chimes of doom? Nothing says immediate death like The First Noel, I guess. Maybe they should spend their money on food if they have cash to buy christmas bells.

Well tonight thank God it's them instead of you
The key line in the whole song. SMP swears its a shot at people who don't help, yet I think they are dead serious. This is the greatest "f you" in the history of music. I mean, thank God? Can you imagine the look on God's face? "God, thanks for making those people hungry and sick, and not me." God would punch you in the brain. This line by itself makes christmas a joyous time. Dear America, I know you only have two cars, a full stomach of food, a giant house, clothes on your back and a big screen tv.....but things could be worse! You could be them! So thank God!

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
Is there ever snow? I live in CA, we dont have snow, but we have christmas. Im tired of this snow = christmas formula. More east coast bias if you ask me.....

The greatest gift they'll get this year is life(Oooh)
To be honest, that is a great gift for all of us. "Timmy, Im sorry you got cancer, but here is a Tickle Me Elmo!" "Oh, this the greatest gift!"

Where nothing ever grows
No rain nor rivers flow
At all? Not a single rain or river? I could have sworn the Nile was in Africa. That's a pretty big river, right?

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?
Do they give a flying fuk?

(Here's to you) raise a glass for everyone
We are toasting them??? This is it? This is what we came up with? We pray to God that we never end up that way, then we raise a glass to a group of people we have no interest in visiting. You wanna help? Join Green Peace, send money, send food, go there and build a hospital. If all you are gonna do is buy this crappy album and then toast hungry people, just admit to being a prick and dont waste your time.

(Here's to them) underneath that burning sun
Paints a pretty bleak picture, doesnt it? Just the thought of a bunch of middle aged suburbanites, sitting around a campfire, swollen from Christmas dinner, listening to this single thinking about millions of starving people baking under the sun, and thinking, "Well, at least I toasted them. That should help...."

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?
Still dont care. "Do you know you're a fucking asshole at all?"

Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Pretentious bastards who think they can solve the world's problems. Why not just admit that we are helpless. Its just life, and we try, but we dont think a song will cure the planet. Why do we think a concert will solve our problems? Hey, I know, lets get a group of eclectic singers together, write a horrible song in about 10 minutes, sell it to the greedy consumers in America, and then use the proceeds to solve all of the world's problems? Yeah, great plan....

Let them know it's Christmastime again
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime again
They have NEVER had a christmas, so it will never be christmas time "again". Get over yourselves....