Banality Television

A favorite past time at the Chesterfield West is the viewing of our own personal lineup of Must See TV. Lately, I have been remiss in recuonting the adventures of our favorite people, so I will attempt to remedy the situation now. I can already foresee I follow-up post from our own SMP in the near future.

The Apprentice - I missed it on Thursday. (recap soon)

The Biggest Loser - I really don't know what to say about this show anymore. It's fallen into a groove, and every week seems to be just like the previous week. The biggest problem I have with this show is the insane trainer for the red team. She seems to have a good face, and a great body, but damnit, no matter how hard I try, I just can't find her hot. I have considered many reasons, but the primary one seems to be that she is insane. The amazing thing is how good some of the people look. I mean, they have really changed over night. But there remain problems. First, the insistance on using food as the central theme on a show that is supposed to be about losing weight. They don't hang out in the living room, they hang out in the kitchen of all places. These are people who probably open the fridge and watch it for half an hour like a sitcom. ("I think the cheese and the pie are having an affair. Man, the bologna is going to be pissed! Can't wait for tomorrow's episode....") So they squeeze them into a breakfast nook and leave food out on the counter. Genius. Not to mention, every catch phase is like "Trim the fat." These people feel bad enough. Hell, most of them cry at least 3 times an episode. There has got to be a connection between fatness and this emotional instability. How about getting the trainers out of there, and bringing in some therapists? Seriously. The glaring problem has been that big Mo is losing about 2% of his weight each week, all while bitching and moaning about every little thing. Mo, we are going on a run. "No, Im not going. I cant go!" Mo, time to work out. "I cant! I cant!" Mo, please leave the couch and go to the bathroom if you have to take a dump. "Oh jeez, its way across the room!" He seems like the kind of guy who would research the TV Guide for the entire day, then pick the channel with the most good shows, knowing full well he had no intention of getting up and changing the channel. The best part was when Mo refused to go on a run, and expressed it by avoiding the trainer, saying, I cant go, then looking away until he left the room. Bob, the trainer, in turn chased him down, and tried to reach a compromise. The lesson learned, according to Mo? Communication!! Right, cause nothing screams communication more than aloofness and refusal to discuss something.

My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss - This show has reached new levels. It is so Fox to trot out these absolute losers, and label them "the cream of the crop." Calling these bottom feeders "junior executives" does such a disservice to the business community, it borders on slander. This week, they sold such great products as re-usable toilet paper and a spray that takes the carbs out of food. Clearly bogus products. First method of sale? Strip. The hottest chick basically was down to a bra and shorts by the end of the day, and was selling absolute worthless crap by doing jumping jacks for dirty old men. It set back women's lib at least 50 years. If this show has a second season, Im not sure women will be allowed to vote in 2008. The real issue was the other method they used to sell these products: lying. I could have sworn I read somewhere during my time in law school about FRAUD. That is basically what this is. A bunch of stooges, committing fraud on national television. Telling people that a spray will remove the carbs from food (it doesnt), that tampons made from twigs and leaves will raise the female libido (they won't) and that pure oxygen in a can will improve your health (strike three), are all lies used to sell merchandise, and are CLEARLY against the law of contracts. How are these people not in jail? And Fox, for putting them up to it, basically using fraud to convince people to commit fraud. Its a vicious cycle! I'd like to feel sorry for these people, but I cant. The one thing about the show is how obviously fake everything is. The fact that no one is catching on is a travesty.

Drawn Together and South Park - Watch the latest episodes if you haven't already. They have so clearly abandoned the realm of good taste, and I couldnt be happier. Let's just say that the site of a cartoon Paris Hilton coughing up what appears to be ranch dressing delights me to my toes.

60 Minutes - We TiVoed it so we could see the Bob Dylan interview (absolutely atrocious, and would have been even if they had used subtitles. Ed Bradley fawned over him like a lovesick schoolgirl while Dylan clearly had no idea what country he was in), the best expose was on the treatment of ADD in adults. Clearly, the greatest scam on earth right now. Drug companies, offering questionnaires with quesitons like, "Do you feel restless?". "Do you have trouble making decisions?", "Are you impulsive?" First and foremost, we are all at least one of the things ont he exam. It basically is designed to get a positive result for about 90% of the world, at which point you are a candidate for some mood altering drug. What a racket! This is like fortune tellers in suits, "You have a relative with an E in their name..." "How did you know!" The only thing missing is a crystal ball on the doctor's desk and him channeling Hippocrates. I am so disgusted with the state of America after hearing about this. To make money off of medicine is about the lowest thing you can do. My god, the purpose of medicine is to heal people, and these people are basically inventing new diseases to make sure they squeeze every last dime out. The kids are all on ritalin, so now lets get the parents on it too. Seriously, why would you not want ADD? I bet every successful, brilliant person could be diagnosed with ADD. ADD is basically saying that your mind is so alive, so energetic, that you cant focus sometimes. Too many thoughts, too many great ideas just pop in and out. Everything you see inspires you. Yeah, that sucks. Quick, get me some medicine so I can be boring and normal. The pills should be red to match the party you will soon be voting for. How would America look today if the great minds of our day had been diagnosed with ADD? I promise there is a slew of kids on ritalin right now that were destined to become great, and if they dont get off the crap, they will never realize their potential. What a disaster....